Monday, August 18, 2008

Maybe there IS hope

I've said and heard from other moms who have young girls this exact statement: "If the styles for teens don't change, I am going to be one very unpopular mom!"

I read this article from CNN this morning and although it gave me a little hope, it made me realize that I am not too far away from possibly a heated discussion on what is appropriate for tween/teen girls to wear, with my own daughter.

I have always been a little on the overly conservative side with the way she dresses anyway. If it is inappropriate at 14 then it is therefore at 3, 4, 5 , and 6. No midriffs, short shorts, or even leopard print(that may just be a style preference), and two piece swim suits have to resemble a tankini of sorts. I absolutely refuse to allow into the house t-shirts that express rude phases. "I'm the Princess-Brat-Spoiled-Drama Queen-Diva," anything that implies that selfish or bad behavior is "cutsie."

Now don't get me wrong I am a huge fan of her having her own style. I don't really care if she matches and her stubborn will causes a big clash in style from what I think is cute on 6 year old girls and what she likes. Most days she is a blend between hippie and compound girl (if you have ever seen Big Love and know who Nikki is then you get the full picture). She may look a little like a hobo but hey, her style is VERY unique and all her own! I love that about her.

Lately she has started to branch out and I may have gotten a little lax.... She is starting to lean toward "the teenage look." That is what she calls it. It's not bad in and of itself. Not all teens dress like hookers. A pair of jeans and a cute strappy tank from Gap is one of my favorite things she wears. But now she wants to complete that ensemble with her black heels! Yes, I did let her buy them...she wanted them SO bad that she used her own money. So I let it slide and thought oh well, she sees me wear that all the time...

One recent Sunday morning she emerged in a pink sequined top(one that I had somehow failed to take to goodwill as it was about 2 sizes too small), a blue jean mini skirt (not too short and purchased one size too big b/c it had an adjustable waist), and the black heels. My mouth fell open! I quickly made up some excuse about not wanting her to wear denim to Sunday morning church(a total lie) and sent her off to change. Her reply was that I just didn't want her to look cute! I wish I had a picture to show. She looked like she was about to get in her car and head to the mall with her friends to "hang out" aka "meet boys." I made her change.

So where do we draw the line between letting children "grow up" and being a parent who is too over protective, that will no doubt lead to rebellion? Now I know she is ONLY 6, but she won't always be. And I realize that she is only mimicking. She has no clue that the way a girl dresses speaks volumes. She's is too young for that. Oh and how do I teach an age appropriate lesson in those moments...or do I? OK, now I've given myself a headache...

Any thoughts?

8 comments:

Lovey said...

I cant wait for the out come of this. Sorry, but I am LOL. I do love her style & the way you let her be her own person. Your prayer life is about to kick into high gear.

Kimberly said...

I would like to hear Wes's response to the outfit.

Heather said...

I totally agree...there's no telling what will be out there when I have kids...I'll probably have to learn how to sew!!


Heather

Jennifer said...

Thanks for the comments!

Hopefully now I will pay more attention and not act quite so shocked next time!!

kelliemwilson said...

So, it isn't just boys - ours isn't so much the teenage look, just his own style. Being type A personality that I am, it is driving me insane. Parenting as a whole is driving me insane right now. When Lizzie is 6, I will come to you and ask how you made it through the 6 year old phase.

On a side note, I was in Dillard's this week - just stopped by the girls 2T - 6 section of clothing. I saw nothing that I would buy for my 3 year old. It is all "grown up" clothes made to fit small people. Made me sad...

kelliemwilson said...

And speaking of sewing...I told Lizzie when we left Dillards that I really needed to start making her clothes again - it is much easier that way!

Amie said...

We can be "unpopular" together. I've already had talks with the girls about how we don't wear clothes to make people want to look at our bodies. Maybe I'm making progress - recently while we were looking at bathing suits the girls commented to each other about the bathing suits that I wouldn't let them wear so they shouldn't ask for them :)

Jennifer said...

We can all start sewing together! I am this close to making a "pillowcase" dress!!