Monday, September 29, 2008

Change

I am sure everyone is sick of this word by now. I am. I would love to turn on the radio, television, or go to any news website and not hear/see the word plastered everywhere. If it wasn't there then maybe I wouldn't have to do it.

I am tired of it because I am worried that it is just a slogan and change will never happen. I am worried that no matter who we elect everyone will go about their business as usual. I am worried that we will continue to ask everyone else to "bail us out," feed the hungry, keep our unborn children from dying, teach our children about God, pay for our medical expenses..... while we do nothing in our daily lives to change ourselves.

And by "we" I mean me. I am really not happy with myself these days and I need to remedy this. I have all these thoughts in my head about what I believe, but practicing these beliefs seem to be very minimal if not nonexistent. Hypocrisy is such an in your face word and one that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I really dislike and can even get angry when someone is a blatant hypocrite, however my fear is that my entire day to day life is engulfed in it. Does anyone have days like this?

I think my problem is pretty simple (ahh "simple" is another one of those tricky little words). I have to choose. I have to choose to get up every single day and consciencely weigh my decisions.
Do I really have to have another shirt from Target even if it only costs $3?
Do I need to buy Cheerios instead of Toasty O's?
Could I use my "me" money to pay for just one low income senior citizen to have food for a month instead of stopping at Starbucks?
Am I really and truly going to give money to the local church who helps families keep their heat on in the winter or will I just smile that "someone else" is taking care of that?
Will I make sure that local produce comes into my house instead processed stuff that has to be shipped from thousands of miles away?

So far, on this very day, the answer to all of these questions that I am asking myself is a big fat NO. My question to myself now is will I write this post, wallow around in self pity, and then in a few weeks look back and see that nothing has been done differently, or will I....change?

3 comments:

kelliemwilson said...

hmmm...wow...I agree...and then there's Bible study on Sunday mornings...hmmm...why can't it all just be easy? why can't we just have all the answers and be who we want to be

Lovey said...

Well you have sure given us some things to think about. Since I am gone a minimum of 12 hours a day, I have gotten very slack on trying to make change happen in my world. I often think I use that as an excuse. It has become so much easier to just give money when I come in really tired instead of fixing a dish, etc.. Then on weekends, I want some me time. I try to remind myself that Jesus got tired too, but he always had time....

Kimberly said...

Great post! Thanks for giving me something to think about.